Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
