Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
