we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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