the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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