its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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