i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
