go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
