We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
