what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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