first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
