Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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