i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
