Where are you?
In a non slutty way
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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