SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
