Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize