My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Success! We fucked roommates!
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