R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Green mimosas i think yes
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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