"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
