Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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