Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
