no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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