Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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