Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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