don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Dick very happy bro
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
