So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize