never play flip cup with pint glasses
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
