went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize