Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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