I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
