My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
