If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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