i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
