at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm passing your future prison.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
