Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
