Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
