just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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