Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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