covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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