respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
