Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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