Is it normal to miss your booty call?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
