she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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