called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize