Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
