all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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