I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
