can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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