What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize