ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
