i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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