I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
