You really coming over, don't trick.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
