i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
