How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize