as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
