go do what you do best...puke behind churches
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
