i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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