she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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