So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
When are your genitals available?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
