i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
