I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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