i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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