margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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