how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
